Open Question: what is the best thing to do in this sistuation?

i know its a long story but bare with me. Im 18 years old and im in love with this amazing girl. and we went out for a little over a year. then we broke up because of my boarder line personality disorder.(BPD) i also have ADHD i take Aderall. and it stabilizes my mood for a while and then i go back to getting agitated, angry, and emotionally abusive to my loved ones. but since ive been on it.